August 5-August 17
Each week the magical doors of mystery open spilling their contents into my consciousness. Today I found out who my new site mate will be. I have to say I’m excited about the southern crowd. Also, I found out that my family has a “compound” which means that I may get my own separate dwelling when I move there. (Yay!) Next week I will travel to my permanent site, meet my new family and see where and with whom I will be working. Finally I will see for myself if this place is truly better or worse (aesthetically) than where I have spent the past two months. So far I’ve received mixed messages.

At the same time PST is coming to an end with only 4 weeks and 12 language classes left. Somehow I have recently found certain words rolling off my tongue easier. Words such as “I don’t want it”, “I like this”, “please”, “excuse me”, “I am going to…” and the like. At the same time I still feel painfully inept when the time comes to have an actual conversation with Azeri’s who don’t speak English.

However, last week I had a tutoring session with my LCF (Language and Cultural Facilitator) and we spoke (in Azeri) about the books we were reading. This was my first impromptu conversation in Azerbaijani, and I doubt it would have been possible had she not been able to fill in the gaps in English and to speak slowly, but it happened, and it gave me at least a hint of hope. This week I had my first conversation with my qardaşum (brother). Though it was very short and only consisted of me asking him if he liked sports and which his favorite sports were, for me it was a milestone. I don’t think I’ve completely expressed how adorable my qardaşum is, but believe me when I say that he is adorable.

My first splash into the cold water of language learning reality came when I met a local school director from my future town. He spoke no English and also spoke very softly and quickly. I felt completely inept and clumsy. Any of you who have had similar experiences may feel my pain. My only previous experience with this was in France, when I shared many a meal with French speakers. By the end of one month I could tell what the conversation was about, but I was far from being able to contribute.

The difference between that experience and this was that he was expecting me to be able to speak Azeri. Soon I will be working with him and other Azeris attempting to create programming and communicate questions which will make or break my success here. I don’t yet know if anyone at my site will speak English, so I must be prepared for many more such experiences.

Afterward I felt defeated and anxious in a way that I have never before experienced. At the same time we were in the middle of a heat wave (110-113 for a week) and my fan broke the night before. Needless to say, when my Mom and Adam called later the next evening I was a little….off. When I talked to my mom she said, “You know what it sounds like? It sounds like you’re in the Peace Corps.” Touché.

The good news is that since my fan broke it’s been uncommonly cool. Only about 80 or 90 and cooler at night. I sleep on the floor now, nearer the window where it’s not as hot. I also started putting my water bottles in the freezer despite the warnings that cold water will make you sick (as will fans). However, I’ve seen my Ana drink cold water so this habit is not so alien to my family.

You may be asking yourself, “why don’t you just buy a new fan?” And to this I would say, “it’s more complicated than you think”. They have fans at the local market, but aside from being expensive (though don’t worry, I could afford it) they are also big and I can’t just put the box (even if they came in a box) in the trunk of my car. Also, if I bought one I would also have to transport it to my permanent site, which would be a pain. And besides, Azeri’s don’t use fans. So I’m waiting until I get to my new site and I’m depending on the weather holding out (which is by no means a logical thing to do) and maybe I’ll break down, but for now I think I can deal with the heat. You may also ask yourself, “Why doesn’t she ask her Ana to buy a new one?” And to this I would answer, “again, it’s a very complicated and delicate issue, but the short of it is that they don’t have the money”.

On another note, 3 out of 5 people in my cluster have gotten full blown food poisoning thus far. This is very common. There are frequent power outages for hours and most families and stores don’t replace the meat or other perishable items. I am fortunate that my family does not eat a lot of meat and when the power is out for an extended time, I’ve seen them throw out food. For this I am very fortunate. At the same time, I know many people outside of my cluster who have fallen ill and I cannot imagine that sooner or later I will meet this same fate. Such is life in the Peace Corps.

Aside from that the food remains tasty. Lately watermelon, grapes and melon have been abundant while cherries, figs and apples have disappeared. Somehow there is a calming order to truly seasonal fruit. As I have mentioned before, my family has many fruit trees as well as a large vegetable garden. In addition the hundreds of planted flowers are beginning to bloom and yesterday my Ana cut some and put them in my room. Again, such is life in the Peace Corps.