Nov. 21
November is almost over and fall is alluding to winter. This is the right time to live in the south. It has been cooler during the days and cold at night, but nowhere near the weather in Michigan or even Northern Azerbaijan. Good thing too, I hate the cold and without central indoor heating, you are constantly aware of how cold it is.

I have taken to layering, holding warm bottles of water and hiding under my many blankets at night. I am thankful for all that I have here, the little it may be compared to the U.S.. However I am finding, which I suspected I would, that having less does not necessarily mean being less happy. I suppose I miss daily, hot showers (gas is becoming sparse here, haven’t showered in a few days) and baths (especially baths) and being able to walk around without a million layers inside – but I would not say that I am less happy because of it.

Last weekend the PCV’s were invited to Baku to celebrate Thanksgiving with the Peace Corps staff and Embassy workers. I stayed with a young woman in her wonderful apartment, complete with microwave, washer and dryer and a tub. I stayed two nights. I took a bath. A long, hot bath and it was wonderful (though I couldn’t shake the nagging uneasiness that I was using A LOT of water – also something I suspected).

The volunteers prepared meals and we enjoyed a kind of potluck with turkeys provided by the staff. At the end was a talent show and following the shindig we ventured into the streets of Baku. It was a good night, and afterward I felt refreshed; partly because of the relaxation, but also because I felt that I hadn’t been out of the U.S. for that long.

I found using a microwave and washer and dryer weren’t all that exciting. The U.S. women’s magazines and satellite T.V. failed to enchant me. Instead of making me homesick for the U.S. they made me glad I’m here, and reassured me that all those things will be waiting for me when I return (they will, right?).

But before I return I have work to do, and the work is becoming exciting. My three conversation clubs will, in January, morph into one conversation club and two new themed clubs. What the themes will be, I don’t know yet, but a reading club, writing club, and typing club are possible candidates.

Now I am doing several “assessments” of what the “youth” here have, need and want. Listening to their answers is motivating. They overwhelmingly tell me that it’s boring here and that there are not enough places for girls to hang out. The people in my conversation clubs are bright and dedicated and thus are enthusiastic about the new clubs.

On my way to work today I was thinking about the act of listening. So often I’ve skidded through life without really listening. It’s easy to do when you live within your culture, when you’re busy with routine. But here I have to consciously listen every moment of every day and I have to think about what I hear. Not just to the words my community uses, which I am only beginning to understand, but to body language, habits, routines and desires. I listen to their environment, culture and customs. Sometimes I don’t like what I hear, it’s difficult to be a woman here and I knew that coming in, but am only beginning to understand the consequences as a woman living here.

I think about my own country’s history and how fortunate I am that the battles for the right to leave the house for recreation, drive a car and wear pants have already been fought for me. And though we still have battles to fight, we’ve come a long, long way.

I came here a bit directionless and though I would never entertain delusions so grand as changing the ideas or customs of an entire culture, I am nevertheless wholly enjoying listening and observing, asking and answering questions. My students are inquisitive. They want to know what teachers wear and if girls go to pool halls and bowl. They take pride in telling me about, and occasionally preparing, their “national meals” and they want to know about mine. We trade music and talk about the similarities and differences in instruments, what we like and what we don’t like.

I feel I have one of the most interesting jobs in the world. And every day I get the opportunity to fall and get back up, to hit a wall and try another route, to listen more attentively, be more present, and ask more questions. And in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’m feeling very thankful.